show me the healing

Ministry is in full swing at B.C. and Cal State. We just put on the first Awakening where both chapters get together for worship and a message. Two weeks of New Student Outreach, seemingly billions of fliers, posters, candy give aways, Volleyball, water balloons, a week of bible studies, prayer, leadership meetings, prep meetings for bible studies, prep meetings for leadership meetings, tables, chairs, worship practices, raw fingers, song research, font finding, powerpoint slides, talk preparation / editing, new faces....and the list goes on.

Where's the healing? where's the making well? where's the changing hearts? where's the discipleship?

I know, no I think, all this stuff in necessary in order to create a place where the questions can get answered...But shouldn't the healing, the changing, the freedom from being trapped in co-dependence, unhealthy relationships, pornography, criticalness, cynicism, gossip, etc...shouldn't that be happing in the midst of ministry.

Trust must be built, and it isn't built in a day, or just a week or two, it takes time. It's early, things are still brand new. But what's the difference between continuing to do "ministry" in order that real ministry (healing/deliverance) will eventually happen, and continuing to do "ministry" and not ever seeing real ministry happen? Is there a time frame, a good, "gosh it's been a month, change everything" limit, I don't think so. Is it about faith, sure it is. Is there maybe something flawed in our pursuit if at the end of the day we say, "Well, I guess nobody was ready for real ministry today." Isn't that essentially saying, "God didn't want to use me for real ministry today." That can't be right, which means either I can't see it or I'm not part of it or both. That's unnacceptable.

I need to pray that God will open my eyes and make me a part of freedom, of healing, of the real gospel. Otherwise I'm going to get so depressed I'll reread the entire Harry Potter series. May it not be so.