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I get a kick out of the fact that I think it's cool to say the "states" even though I live here and have only travelled out of the country twice, both times shorter than two weeks. It has something to do with my disassociation complex, just distance myself from anything not perfect or interesting as not to be defined by it.Not much to report. I've intentionally tried to keep from simply writing about my day because I figured a journal of my thoughts on particular things would be better and more challenging for me, but I find that whenever I read someone's blog and all they do is talk about their day, I'm completely memorized. Maybe it's because they're all friends or relatives, but maybe there is something more. I think it's story. I'm fascinated with stories. I don't particularly love it when all people do is talk about things that have happened to them. But I love reading the way people create a picture of their experiences. I'm a very linear story teller and I include a ridiculous amount of details, all of which I find important, many of which others find excessive I suppose.I realized today that I miss being. I'm spending the weekend with a bunch of friends, one of whom is getting married. Tonight, as we sat around the hot tub taking our turns recalling old SNL sketches we all have seen, I was just me. I didn't have to think about what I was saying, or whether or not they thought I was funny, or if I wasn't there would they miss me. I didn't think about how great I think I am, or how my needs were or weren't getting met. It wasn't that I wasn't thinking at all, I was just entirely in the moment, but even that isn't quite accurate, I was enjoying past memories and imaging our futures as well. I was thinking about God and thinking about my stomach ache and whether or not I have Guatemala to thank for it. I wonder if this type of "being" is a privilege. I am in Santa Barbara, CA, in a spa. Do I enjoy myself because I'm part of the majority? Does that question assume that those outside of privilege and the majority don't simply enjoy their lives sometimes? I hope that everyone experiences this. I don't by any means think it's the ultimate thing to achieve, it's just nice, pleasant. I miss this.
¡Hola de Guatemala! We have been here for a couple of days now and really enjoying the people and food. The culture here is very similar to what I experienced in the Philippines, very gracious and generous. We are among the poor and I am reminded of how wealthy I am. Today I was thinking about how much space we have in the States. One of the big problems that Mario says exists here is a lack of personal value or vision for the future. ¨Why bother with education, I´m a poor farmer, I will always be a poor farmer.¨ That sentiment makes me realize how much hope I have in the future. I don´t think about it that often, but I live assuming that in five or ten years I will have something better than I do now. I will be somewhere different or new. My life will have made a difference. The reality is that is probably true, and the sad thing is that I take for granted how easily it can be accomplished. I don´t have to work that hard to gain success. I know so much of that has to do with being white and starting off middle class. It is hard to be proud of working hard to gain success when those here, and the majority of the rest of the world, must work hard just to survive.
Here is a picture of Antigua taken by some photographer. We visited the day before yesterday and I walked underneath that arch. It is a beautiful city, but also very touristy. I like being in places like this, places of poverty, because it challenges how I think about progress. Is progress developing the economy so that people can have nicer things and more space? Or just enough development to ensure there is no hunger? What is the goal here? Is it just to share Jesus? What is progress now if real progress can only happen over many generations? Much to think and pray about.
One of the things that seems to be a recurring theme in my thought life is how I perceive truth. This is of course nothing new nor something unique. The only reason I bring it up is because I keep running across the book war that get's waged between different (usually) thinking people, alright, Christian's vs. Culture. It starts with the broader culture and then eventually hones in on truth. This war has brought us such great titles as Harry Potter: Witchcraft Repackaged (vhs) and The Gospel According to Harry Potter. Then the ever popular DaVinci Code vs. the DaVinci Deception. Then we have Misquoting Jesus vs. Misquoting Truth (IVP). And now, finally The God Delusion vs. The Dawkins Delusion. Look closely at that last website address, I think it's pretty funny. Anyway, again nothing new here, I could have chosen plenty of other titles, God knows they exist, usually at least three Christian books in response to whatever evil book get published and becomes successful.
The main reason for these books seems to be that there's the possibility that millions of people are being duped into believing that said book is true, however, they will not be duped if we can get, or trick, them to buy and read the Christian side of the story. But let's just be honest, this never happens. People read whatever books seem interesting to them. Culture produces a fun book that everybody reads, and the the Christian culture responds by writing a book about how the culture's book is flawed. No Christian reads the original book, but can tell you how evil it is. I guess some Christians read the original book, but they don't say anything because nobody listens to them, they obviously are teetering too close to the edge and might fall away from faith at any minute.
But I wanted to talk about truth, which I'm finding hard to do at the moment. I think in order to be understood I would have to spend an entire post setting up ground rules and definitions, which, quite frankly would bore me. Maybe all I want to say is that I almost feel hopeless to have a constructive conversation about truth, but at the same time I want to talk about it. Shoot.
It's me. It's me.
There's the new iPhone in my hand. Don't worry all my supporters, it's not mine. And although I did become embarrassingly giddy while setting it up and playing with it, I do not want one of my own. It's kind of like a ski boat or a beach house. I don't want one of my own, but I love to have friends who have such things and allow me to enjoy them. I've read way to much about the iPhone and kept up with all the hoopla, much to the detriment of my spiritual life. Yet, despite all the whining reviews (all from MSN owned sources??) and the certain shortcoming, I'm freaking impressed, as my face clearly shows.
