Renewal

There is such a huge need for renewal. I've decided that I care much more about renewal than something new. I'd much rather see someone who has had a whole lot of crap in their life go through a renewal process than just turn into something new. Well, part of me does. Maybe my theology starts to add some Symantec problems with that statement, but definitional arguments aside, I believe that I prefer redemption to restarting. The whole idea of a second chance is pathetic. A second chance is just another opportunity to experience the failure that's inevitable. Redemption is much more real to me...much more authentic. Deep down that's what I want life to be. I want it to be total recognition of everything that I am and then enough care and love for my identity to be made perfect. I want to be perfect. That's not too much to ask is it?

Be careful what you ask for...

So it's been said many times in the past and aparently for good reason. A couple of days ago I said, "Gee, I wish there was more to what's going on here. I want more than just the normal." Now what I meant to make clear was that I was sick of all the mundane stuff and wanted there to be some greater cause, so greater vision, some greater call for me to follow. Let me be involved with greater things I asked.

Somewhere things got fouled up and what I got was just more crap to do. So why I get what I say and not what I mean frustrates me. Why I get anything at all baffles me.

Today somebody told me that Rome has the longest peroid of peace the world has ever known, it was 200 years. I wonder what it was like.

It's Over

Technically, it's just beginning - However, the prideful resistance to remain separate from the blog world has come to an end, a rather anti-climatic end, which I guess is the end that most, if not all, prideful resistances most enevitably come.

I do admit however that I really appreciate the whole idea of a blog, if anything, the simple concept that hopefully I'll be validating in some form my way of thinking and expression. I love to journal and perhaps the thought that maybe somebody somewhere is finding what I write interesting enough to look at than I'll be more encouraged to write it. I assume that at least for the first few months or years of a blog only close friends will check to read, but maybe that's what I secretly want, is for my close friends to read my thoughts, and then it saves me the effort to do it face to face and be misunderstood.

I wish I wasn't the kind of person who started their first post on a blog talking about blogs and why they are created or what's so great about them. I wish I was cool enough to be able to just start writing something random and be that confident about it. But I prefer honesty over appearance, or at least I'm supposed to and I think that most of the time I really do, so in order to support that I'll make a rule that I'll never delete something that I have written, or decide after thinking twice about what I have said that I shouldn't post it.

Rule 2: Please do the same.

Oh....why sign each blog as "son"? I'm not sure...I guess it's the identity that is one of the most accurate telling who I am, but that I know the least about what it actually means. I'd like to explore more what does it mean that I am somebody's son, so signing each post as that will help me remember.

I just remembered that you will be able to post stuff too, hmm....

A happy congratulations to two of my favorite people as they celebrate a very special occation today. You made the first post.