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For this post I decided I would try to find some image and then hopefully inspiration would lead me to write some fantastic blog. I think I'm totally misunderstanding the whole point of a blog right now. Ah...screw it.
This is something that I want to be a part of. Ever since I started architecture school I hoped there would be some niche for me. I never felt like I fit in completely with all the other design students. My dad doesn't run his own firm, I've never worked a day in an office, I actually make fun of corporate people. (Except when I'm around my friends who work at big corporate places, but that's another post.) I love to design. Period.
My biggest struggle throughout school was trying to convince myself that architecture isn't just a luxury. It has practical applications for the average person. I want to believe there is power is creating great space. I want to believe that architecture can help transform things. Life is better when there is design. Somewhere along the bridge between art and architecture there is a path that people can walk that inspires change, provides perspective, and allows for a spark that could lead to transformation, even redemption. I've read a book about how the built environment effects the soul. It was convincing and a little "out there." These people see architecture how I want to. So do these.
I love this sound. Good harmony, good music, simple sound. Sometimes I wish I was a millionaire just so I could buy all the music that I wanted. I make myself feel justified by how appreciative I am of the creative spirit. Maybe I just want to surround myself with things I like that will in turn justify my own existence and validate my value. That's what I was thinking of the other day. I mean I was thinking about the internet and how there has to be a blog or fan site or club for just about everything. No longer is anyone alone. If you think Harrison Ford should be president, or you always misuse quotation marks, or you're obsessed about when you might die, you can find other people on the web to validate you.
The down side is that the more everything gets documented and broadcast, the more things get labeled, the easier it is to label me and stick me a group with about fifty other people "that are" exactly the same. Which reveals the dilemma I have of wanting to be validated by a particular group, yet not wanting to be defined by all of what gets attached to that group.
My theory is that it is this type of thinking that is one of the primary causes of division in the church. It is also this thinking that causes people to attend church but not get too involved. Our culture perpetuates this thinking and instead of the church sticking to the gospel and portraying the unity of believers, it fragments. Instead of offering a haven to those who are looking to be valued as individuals, it becomes another factory of similarity, a group from which you will be defined in order to be accepted.
So this is all I have to show for my months of absence from the blogging scene. No, I haven't been playing this game with the millions of other MMORPGers, although, truth be told, I honestly can't say that I wouldn't want too. For some reason I really love the idea of these games and have a hard time not secretly envying my friends who get good at these games and still retain a somewhat normal level of socializing in the real world. I also secretly fear that I could easily become addicted and become a total escapist.
I'd like to spend this entire blog ranting about how married life is and what a huge step it's been and all of the crazy revelations I've had about life now that what seemed to be it's most incredible goal has been obtained, but I'm still a little confused to be honest. All I have for now is that marriage changes absolutely everything and yet, it doesn't change anything at all. That sounds even lamer that it did in my head. I hate it when somebody says something like that in an attempt to sound deep and profound. Now that I married my conscious has a voice and it says, "No World of Warcraft for you. James, don't give him the password." Bugger.
