another book

That's right, I finished another book. Shoot, maybe this is just the first I've finished of all that I've mentioned. Last night after not being able to sleep because of...well, issues, I decided to trek through the remaining pages of this book. It only took me about six months to read this.

I think this book has had the greatest effect on me of all that I have read in the past five years, probably because it's the most self-validating for me. The author's voice is my voice, one that is constantly analytical, and in the end, flawed. I love the idea that Quality is the cause/creator of everything and it must remain undefinable, because whenever it is defined, a part of it is lost and it ceases to be the first cause. I had a two hour discussion with my friend Amos on the way back from Vegas at about 2am all about the book and how it applies to spirituality and Christianity. I miss those types of conversations.

I realize that the reason I enjoyed the book so much was because it was just like one of those 2am conversations. It was like having a friend who thought and processed the same way as I do and whenever I wanted to discuss life I could just open the book. Perhaps that's why I'm feeling a little sad to be finished reading it. Now I'll have to wait for another couple of months or so in order to have one of those fulfilling conversations. One that I don't have to entirely initiate and carry the weight of in order for it to continue. I think one of the things that brings me the most sadness is not being able to communicate. I want somebody to initiate the long 2 hour conversation where all we talk about is ideas. This is my love language and although it may seem dull, it is what brings me greatest joy. It's how I feel like I've connected with someone, talking about things bigger than ourselves, marveling about great concepts, trying to bring them into practicality without loosing their greatness. It's my attempt at experiencing Quality. Without it I feel alone.