at what point does this become fake

Every Sunday I think about this, which probably speaks more about my own spirituality and self discipline than anything else, why don't they just give in and buy a sign? I know the intentions are good and this totally works for people. Shoot, it works for me, when I am feeling totally reverent to somebody or something, I guess I stand. But here's the confusion: The only other time that I can think of in this culture when we stand is at concerts or at the end of performances or a show. I know that many of the people in church are from a different generation than myself and have it built in that standing up is a sign of respect. So, if me standing up at church during worship is only to stand in unification with those worshippers who stand, I'm all for it, and for all I know, that should be as far as I think about it, now accept it and move on.

But there seems to be something more, at least I like to make something more out of it. Somewhere, deep down, I feel manipulated. Is it just my ego saying, "Hey, I'm an individual. I make my own choices, I'm not feeling the spirit enough to raise my hands right now, so I'm not going to"? Is it my fear saying, "If you don't stand you are less spiritual, and everybody else is taking notes right now and you will forever be known as the rebellious punk who thinks he's too good to stand up, we should pray for him." Or, this one's my favorite, because it requires no conviction or repentance on my part, it's my amazing discernment saying, "This is not authentic worship. Not everybody worships this way. It's forcing people to only express themselves through this culture's traditions and instead of creating members of the body, it's creating conformists who have the inability to truly experience communion with the Father."

This isn't fooling anybody that may walk in off the streets, which they probably wouldn't because they'd have to get through the maze of new construction, welcome tents, and registration cards where they will be made to feel like everybody is so nice to me but I bet it will only last as long as this forced five minute conversation and then I'll just learn to act like I know where I'm going and then nobody will ever say hello to me accept when they are forced to by the infamous 'greet your neighbor' command when again nobody really even knows my name or offers there's after which I feel awkward because when is it socially acceptable in this new group to sit down and can I really even meet somebody anyway in thirty seconds and no I won't raise my hand because I'm new so you can give my your program that's supposed to replace meeting a real person and why is everybody standing now did I miss the sign?? where's the sign?? oh there it is, hey that's helpful.